Having Shitty Credit Is Freeing (In A Way)

A lot of people are constantly worried about their credit score. After all, I suppose that's a huge part of your life if you ever want to buy a house, car, or get a credit card. I, on the other hand, no longer care.

It all started when I was nineteen and working my first job. I had a pretty steady income, so I figured it was time to get my first credit card. I called a certain creditor, and boy was I surprised when I was informed that I already had a line of credit with them. Okay, so my name was stolen, but it couldn't be that bad, right? Wrong.

A couple of years later, when my husband and I were renting from some really anal bitches (the rest of that nightmare is a story for another day) they ran a credit check on me. Was I ever shocked when I discovered that I had thousands of dollars in debt dating back to the early 2000's. Problem is, in the early 2000's I was under age. So, like any halfway responsible person, I tried to fix my credit.

Also, there were a couple of addresses listed on that credit check, and it was everything I could do to not go to those houses and torch them. I'm a really nice girl until you fuck with me...

Anyway, you know how all of the credit card companies run ads proclaiming that they care ever so much about identity theft? Well, that's a bunch of bullshit. I went online to try to fix my credit, and was kindly informed that I wasn't me. You see, I was born in 1984, and my credit doppleganger gave a birthdate in 1975, so obviously I wasn't me. After all, how could I have run up all of those charges if I wasn't old enough for a credit card? Also, as an interesting aside, I've apparently even had a second mortgage taken out in my name.

I remember watching a talk show some years back about people who steal other people's info. What stood out the most in my mind was some fat cow bitch whining about how it was Christmas and her kids needed presents so she started down the road of identity theft. Guess what bitch? I don't give a fuck about you or your kids, and going on Montel and trying to make me feel sorry for your scuzzy ass isn't going to work. Boo hoo, get up off of the couch and get a job like everyone else. Man, I hate talk shows... trying to make the unsympathetic into victims. Screw you Montel, Oprah, Maury, and especially Dr. Phil (okay, so that's a different rant...)

Anyway, once I take three deep breaths and lower my blood pressure, I realize that I don't care. I...just...don't...fucking...care. Why don't I care? Because it really is freeing in a strange way. In other words, it gives me free reign to screw with debt collectors. I love messing with the people who give me vaguely threatening calls.

Oh wow, if I don't pay you, what are you going to do? Is this going to go on my credit score? Oh, have fun with that. Also, there is this thing called the statute of limitations, and anything you're trying to collect on is actually too old for you to still be harassing me about. Ever try to squeeze blood from a turnip? That's what you'll be doing. Have at it!

Actually, there are only a couple of bills that I actually owe on. The rest are from whoever used my name. I still get the bills for a $3,000 tennis bracelet sometimes. Yeah, like I'd spend that much money on something that stupid.

So anyway, I may never get this mess straightened out, and I may never be able to get a credit card that isn't attached to a debit card, but I could care less. Besides, if you ask nicely, most people on eBay will still take money orders (having an excellent feedback rating helps).

Okay, so now I'm going into rant mode and not really writing at my most coherent. Time to stop for the day.

Before I sign off though, the message of the day is this: don't let debt collectors scare you. What the hell can they do? All they can do is sit at their miserable call center jobs and make impotent threats. If they're rude to you, be rude back. It's fun, try it. Especially if you've had a bad day, there's nothing more fun than telling someone harassing you to go to hell.

I'm just disappointed that the number that I tried to call back today wouldn't take calls from blocked numbers, like I'm going to let them know my real number...